After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
