Im at strip club and am horny
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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