Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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