trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
