Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize