ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
