yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
