I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
