walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
