if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
