Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
