Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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