I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
