I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
