so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
