my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
