my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
