apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
