Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
