her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
