I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
