I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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