how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
