Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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