Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
