I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
