Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
