Porn is love you can see.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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