Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
