No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
