mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
