Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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