i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
