I hate all girls vehemently.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
