did you get engaged???
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
