so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have aggressive nipples.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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