dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
