Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
