somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
