I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
