We won't sleep together?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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