moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
