I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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