i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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