yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
