Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
