areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
