drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am available for nakedness
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
