after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You made out with two different species that night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
