Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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