from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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