I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
