He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
