I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
