party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
