broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
