"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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