I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
