I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
