i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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